“Please Y’all” – The Story of the NBA Dunk Contest


January 28th, 2012

The year was 2006 and Andre Iguodala threw up a bouncing behind the back reverse dunk during the NBA’s All-Star Weekend Dunk Contest. The dunk was amazing and Iguodala would soon be on the verge of superstardom as Allen Iverson was surely to either be traded soon or retire, as his last days as a Philadelphia 76er waned. However, that night Charles Barkley zeroed in on one particular instance during Iguodala’s dunk: Damon Jones’ bright red coat. Damon Jones? Who is Damon Jones? A career bench player, Jones was never known for anything other than some sharpshooting playing behind starting Point Guards. That is, until Charles Barkley called him out and desensitized NBA Slam Dunk Weekend audiences to the dunks themselves and began a shift in attention away from the dunks and towards the spectacle. Throughout the rest of the night, Barkley would constantly call for the camera to find Damon Jones and his red suit, saying “Please Y’all” repeatedly. In 2006, despite perhaps having the best set of dunks, Iggy would not win the contest. Rather, it was the midget, the 5-foot nothing Nate Robinson who would gradually win over audiences and judges alike by giving them something they hadn’t seen since perhaps Spud Webb in 1986. Granted, Webb and Nate Rob are fantastic dunkers and arguably some of the best athletes in the NBA’s history, but were their dunks more creative and better executed than the others?
In 2007, the Contest had perhaps its last great traditional showdown. Nate Rob returned to defend his title and newcomer Gerald Green came in with a monstrous array of dunks, using minimal props, which were allowed for the first time. Dwight Howard did place a sticker at the top of the backboard and Gerald Green did dunk over a box, but more or less, it was a great performance. Green eventually won and in the process, dunked over the top of Nate Robinson. In 2008, Dwight Howard busted out the Superman red cape and Damon Jones returned with a corduroy blazer and a mow-hawk. Los Angeles Lakers Kobe Bryant loved it as well as Kenny “The Jet” Smith who lost his voice screaming his glee aloud, just like Barkley over the infamous red blazer of Damon Jones. Dwight’s Superman dunk, or, rather, non-dunk, since he never actually dunked the ball but rather threw it into the basket while falling far short of the rim, earned him a second straight 50-point dunk, the max score. Dwight’s tip-to-himself-off-the-backboard dunk was amazing and a game changer, but nobody remembers that dunk. They only remember the cape and the non-dunk.
Nate Robinson returned to glory in 2009 as he jumped over the top of Superman Dwight Howard wearing a green outfit, symbolizing his Krpto-Nate persona and again winning the Contest. The part everyone remembers from 2009? It was when Dwight Howard brought out a 12-foot rim, went into a phone booth, and changed into the Superman outfit. Dwight dunked at 12-feet and then made the crew try to raise the rim even higher, but to no avail. Kryto-Nate and Superman D-Howard again raised the bar for the Dunk Contest spectacle in outrageous form. At the end of the night, Lebron himself put his name into the Contest for 2010. However, it was a broken promise and 2010′s Contest would be won again by Nate Robinson and be called one of the worst Contests in memory. There was no grand spectacle that anyone remembers and Cleveland Cavaliers Lebron James did not enter the Contest, thus beginning his official eclipse of Jordan. Sad times for the emergent spectacle.

The 2011 Contest brought back the shock and awe spectacle that David Stern and the NBA seemingly longed for. JaVale McGee arguably made the most out of the props. First he dunked two balls on two different, separate rims. Then, to raise the bar, his own mother brought him a third ball and he dunked three balls at the same time on the same leap. “Air Congo” Serge Ibaka, a high flying big man like McGee and Orlando Magic Dwight Howard before him, dunked from the free throw line, but Dwight did that in 2010 as a big man, too. Toronto’s DeMar DeRozan did one of the most incredibly difficult dunks of all time with his “funk dunk,” but that, too, was not enough to even sniff the winner’s box. Los Angeles Clippers Blake Griffin dunked over a KIA car while a gospel choir sang, “I believe I can fly” in the background. The worst part was not Griffin’s over-the-top setup, but the dunk really was not all that great. He did dunk over the car, but it was over the hood, roughly equivalent to the Gerald Green 2007 over-the-box dunk. Immediately afterwards, Charles Barkley called the dunk out and said “it wasn’t the greatest dunk.” Later, it was revealed that some places had prematurely announced that Blake was the winner of the Contest before it even happened. While this cannot be proven, and is likely false, it raises the question: How will the NBA ever top that? Unless the Contest is moved out doors where more props can be used, it might be all downhill from here. As Barkley would say, “Please y’all…”… bring back Damon Jones and make Lebron James enter the Contest if it is going to survive without the use of gradually more infuriating props.




The Ups and Downs of Lockout Ball


January 23rd, 2012

The long-hyped sophomore Point Guard monster for the Washington Wizards, John Wall, is finally coming into his own this season. Through the first 11 games of the season, he averaged 13 points on an atrocious 34% shooting. In the last 5 games, Wall is shooting 41% (only marginally better), but stuffing the stat sheet with 24 points, 8 rebounds, 8 assists, 1 steal and 1 block. Except for the bad shooting, those stats are among the elite of basketball. If he keeps it up, and eventually gets his shot to fall, John Wall could be looking at his ascension into the conversation for best Point Guard sooner rather than later. The effects of the lockout seem to be wearing off finally for Wall and others who have had a historically slow start to their seasons.

On January 20th, Portland Trail Blazers LaMarcus Aldridge went off for 33 points, 23 boards and 5 assists, making it a candidate for performance of the year so far. Orlando Magic Dwight Howard may have something to say about that, especially in light of recent rumors saying that Los Angeles Lakers Andrew Bynum was the best Center in today’s NBA. The same night that Aldridge went off for what may have been the best game of his career; “Superman” Dwight Howard annihilated Bynum in a showdown in L.A. Howard posted 21 points and 23 boards of his own and held the injury-prone Bynum to just 10 points and 12 boards in a victory over Bynum’s Lakers. If Howard continues to travel around the league and routinely slaying opposing Centers, Howard will not only solidify himself as the best Center without debate, but he may play himself out of being traded. Therefore, it would be a double-edged sword for Howard. On the season, he is averaging 20 points and 16 boards with 2.3 blocks. Over the past two weeks, though, he has upped those numbers to 23 point and nearly 19 boards, which is simply uncanny. The only other player who compares in the post-lockout NBA is Minnesota Timberwolves Kevin Love. On the season, Love is putting up 24 points, 14 boards, 2 threes, but all on 41% shooting, which is extremely low for a big man. Over the past two weeks, Love is shooting even worse: 36%, meaning the effects of the lockout are still lingering for Love, who was pimped by Yahoo Sports incessantly at the beginning of the season for losing weight and staying healthy during the lockout.

Other top big men with absurd shooting problems include Amar’e Stoudemire (41%), Chicago Bulls Joakim Noah (42%), Dirk Nowitzki (45%), David West (45%), DeMarcus Cousins (44%), and ex Los Angeles Clippers Chris Kaman (44%). Owners of any of these players in fantasy basketball are probably pulling their hair out right now, especially those who drafted Dallas Mavericks Dirk Nowitzki or Amar’e Stoudemire in the 1st round of their drafts. In real life, neither player has really contributed many wins for their respective teams to go along with their low shooting percentages. The New York Knicks are just 5-12, good for 10th place overall in the Eastern Conference, which is not an enviable position for a team consisting of Amar’e Stoudemire and Carmelo Anthony. Similarly, the defending champs are also struggling. They at least have a winning record at 10-7, good for 7th place in the West. The story of the young season so far might be how under the radar the Philadelphia 76ers have flown. They are 11-5 and getting quiet contributions from their whole roster. John Wall’s Wizards team is easily the worst team in the league right now, sitting at 2-14. However, if Wall’s recent statistical uptick is any indication, the Wizards have no place to go but up.